And the crap just rolls off my tongue....

Names I make up for my kids on the fly:

Squirt, monster, creeper, munchkin, climber, turbo, monkey, funky monkey, kiddo, wiggles, giggles, turkey, drooley, cruiser, twerp..... and many more I can't remember.

Afloat

I was able to take out my new boat yesterday on its maiden voyage. Nothing too special. I paddled out to the Moks, but it was high tide and I didn't want to ruin a good first trip by flipping on the rocky upper part of the beach on Moku Iki, so I turned around and snapped a few shots before quickly shoving the camera back into the safety of the dry-bag. The whole time I was just waiting for a sideways swell to topple me and dump my camera, GPS, and all the other completely unneeded ballast I schlepped along into the ocean while I tried to snap pictures for you. Apparently luck was with me, because none of my Murphey's Lawness emerged on my trip. The paddlng was easy, the wind was light, the boat handles great, and I didn't get anything wet except my legs while loading/unloading. The water was a little choppy with big swells, so visibility wasn't that great, but it was about 80 degrees.

Woof

Lanikai beach. One of the most beautiful beaches in the world, and it's great for fetching, too.







Yeah, they have it ruff.

Filler #2 - music and religion

Three of the perfect songs at one of the perfect times in my life. This well reflected my feelings then and still.

"God"
-Tori Amos



"Crucify"
-Tori Amos



"Dear God"
Sarah McLachlan cover of XTC's hit

32 rocks - not a collection

Another year has past since I came kicking and screaming into this world back in the days of shag carpet and orange & green kitchen appliances. I don't feel much different. I still kick and scream when I see peach colored ovens and foil wallpaper.

Today, however, kicked ass. The day started with a happy ending (I wish it was my birthday every morning!). That, in itself, was enough to make my day. My daughter helped me open a couple presents. T shirts and some exercise socks. Not glorious I know, but they were on my wish list. I was very happy with the aforementioned raising of the flag pole, and my life is pretty damned good anyways. Although I have a wish list a mile long, I really need very little.

You see, if you haven't figured it out already, I'm the spender. My wife is the saver. We both do our best to keep me from spending too much, but sometimes I see something shiny at Home Depot or NewEgg, and its all over. I go overboard at Christmas (another great holiday, despite its origins). Occasionally, though, she throws me a curveball. I thought this year's curveball came in the form of my new Nikon Coolpix S600 camera for Father's Day. Apparently I was wrong. When I came home, this was in the lanai/family room waiting for me:



Not just an ocean kayak. A brand. effing. new. two & 1/2 seater. Just big enough to take munchkin, mommy, and a dry bag of picnic goodies out for a 1/4 day paddle. Just small enough to handle on my own. Yaaaaay! A hobby! A Hawaiian hobby! Hopefully now I'll start getting out and enjoying this beautiful place more often.

Interesting snippet

I try not to be pushy with my newfound zeal for agnosticism/ humanism. It's fascinating to me just how many people out there share the views that I've been almost embarrassed of having since childhood. Thank you marvelous internet-tubes. I no longer feel like an outsider in a Christian society. Now I'm merely a minority! I'm slowly learning that the word atheist is really a benign term even though it gets pushed into the "evil cult" category by society.



Find more videos like this on Atheist Nexus

Random crap (this one's for you, lughead!)

Baby turtles go out to eat before swimming

Nobody wants collection of 3 Million records (are we really surprised?)

If I flip this coin, what are the chances of me getting head?

Mix Turtle!

Cuteness, messiness, and eew!

The next three pictures will get progressively worse, depending on how easily you are disturbed. It will, however, reveal something about me you probably didn't know.


1. Apparently, even dogs blink when you snap the shutter.




2. Lasagna is still too fun to contain.




3. Turtles and chopsaws don't mix.



I told you so. The dude in the car was just trying to be like me.

Anyways, it's been almost 8 years since I lost a very strongly worded argument with a saw. Answers to the most popular questions;

Q. Did it hurt?
A. Not at all. Shock took care of that. Unfortunately, about 30 minutes later, shock wore off and the morphine hadn't completely kicked in yet. Then it hurt like hell.

Q. Do you ever have phantom pains or phantom feelings (like it's still there)?
A. Not at all.

Q. Can you still use your hand/finger?
A. I had an awesome hand surgeon and adjusted easily. I still have complete feeling in every part (that is left) of my finger. I do use my middle finger for most things that used to take an index finger, like left-clicking the mouse. Buttons are mildly annoying, but that's about it.

Q. Are you self-conscious about it?
A. Obviously not. Most people work with me days or even months before they notice it. When I did more commercial electrical work and wore gloves most days, some went years without noticing. It doesn't affect my work and I don't make a big deal about it. I screwed up once and it makes a good training aid from time to time when you want to drive home the topic of safety at work. Like I tell them , go to a hospital and ask an accident victim if they expected to end up there that day. I do feel a little weird waving to people behind me in traffic, because I know if I relax my ring finger it could easily be confused for giving them the bird.

Remember what mom told you.........

Man's Arm Severely Injured When Car Brushes Against Pole

Unfortunate, and odd.

Greatest drill bits EVER!

Normally, we have to get pretty pissed about something in order to blog about it, right? I'm attempting to turn the tide and actually blog about something positive (besides the generic NyQuil - sweet, sweet, non-congested angel of sleep!). I picked up 4 of these drill bits on Amazon a couple weeks ago when I was in a shopping frenzy:
http://www.amazon.com/WoodOwl-03807-Tri-Cut-18-Inch-Chipper/dp/B0009OAJMQ
http://www.amazon.com/WoodOwl-03809-Tri-Cut-18-Inch-Chipper/dp/B0009OAJNA
http://www.amazon.com/WoodOwl-03707-Tri-Cut-8-Inch-Chipper/dp/B0009OAJHQ
http://www.amazon.com/WoodOwl-03709-Tri-Cut-4-Inch-Chipper/dp/B0009OAJIA


The only drawback I can find for these bits is the utter necessity to wear gloves and eye protection. If they encounter a nail, they will not bind or kill the end of your bit. They will shower you with molten bits of nail as they plow on through. No more filing the tip of the auger bit trying to get a few more holes out of it.

I'll update if/when one of these bits actually dies. They also self-feed like a mother@#*%^! The 7-1/2" lengths are great for the cordless drill. It's a little more awkward and sharp to carry around in your bags than a regular paddle bit, but I used to buy 5/8" paddle bits in bulk before this! They also work awesome in the Hole Hawg/right angle corded drill. I didn't see them in 7/8" diameters, but I've been doing fine with the 3/4", and they have 1" and bigger, too.

There are some other WoodOwl tri-blade bits that are non-nail-eating, but leave clean holes. I haven't tried them yet, and have no need. The ones I bought will leave some sparring at the front and backs of the holes, but the hole itself is pristine and I don't have to knock out a big chip of wood on the backside before I pull wire like I do with the traditional ship auger bits.

Speaking of quality building...

I've ranted before about how bad our house is, but I realized today that nobody out there understands the degree of poor craftsmanship involved. Now granted, the main problems are;

1. The house is old
2. The house is on a poor foundation which itself rests on hydraulic clay (that expands and contracts with, um, copious amounts of rain).
3. The house is single wall construction There's very little drywall or studs, and no insulation. A few beams and mostly 1" thick solid wood planking around all the outer walls. Prevalent in older Hawaiian homes. I've never seen it anywhere else. Even the mighty Google found very little information on it.
   

So, since a picture speaks a thousand words, here's an essay. You may need to click on some of these and view them full-size to grasp the details.

The door on the left was added on a few years ago and is actually level, but the siding isn't.

The roof extends out over our "garage" from the house. As far as I can tell, that 4x4 post is original, the beam hasn't moved, and the cinderblock wall is definitely original. So why does it lean in about 10 degrees?

This crack in the foundation starts under the Pergo in the kitchen, runs out the Lanai (patio) all the way to the exterior of the house.

More superb concrete work



On the left, the floor in the kitchen, on the right, the floor in my daughter's room at the other end of the hall. The 4 foot level doesn't have a bubble-reading that far off....

Just say the word "hurricane" and we'll be packing off to grandma's.

Pathetic...

Which in case you're wondering, is how I handle having a nasty cold. So bad I had to break out the generic Safeway brand NyQuil on its ass. That slowed it down, but it continues to punch back. Waaaa. I'm ready for my nap.

Time to detox my computer

I came home today to find that my wife had been perusing the web on my rig. No big deal. She has her own computer, but mine is usually running or more convenient. What I found was very disturbing though. Many, many searches for "pink beanbags." Apparently, she has some decoration ideas for our (~18 month old) daughter's room. Ugh. Pink already? Yet again I will be condemned to the "pink" isle at the toy store? *shiver!* I feel the need to go burn something, or beat something with a wrench. Maybe I'll pour motor oil on something, light it on fire, and beat out the flames with my Craftsman toolbox.

Pink.

This is how I feel right now:
The scene in Monsters Inc. where Boo sneezes on Mike Wazowski, and he sprays his eye with disinfectant.

(I tried hard to get a picture or clip of that scene, and then gave up)

I told you so

Anyone who works with computers long enough knows that you have to make backups. Backups of everything. Backups of backups. I was up until about 3AM the other night trying to get my gallery running right again. My control panel, like most computers or programs I come into contact with, was having issues and although I tried, it would not properly back up my albums. So, when I lost my patience and said, "To hell with it!" and reinstalled my gallery, I knew I was going to have to re-upload all of my pictures (Yes, I have learned a little. I have all of the originals on my machine, with redundant backups on hard drive and DVD).

What spoiled any hopes of joy was that my brand-new installation of Gallery had the exact same issues with resizing images that the old installation did. This means the issue was related to my web host provider (who I am now convinced I need to change after 7 faithful years and continually degrading service - screw you Aplus.net!!) and that I am back to square -30. I now have to recustomize my gallery and upload all the photos and organize them again, assuming they can find and fix the problem (ImageMagick?) with the graphics toolkits and/or PHP. Maybe they could finally fix it so it doesn't take 60 seconds to load (it used to only take 4)! As long as I'm starting over, I might as well jump to a new host provider. I just hate the idea of spending several hours reading reviews on hosting providers and trying to figure out which ones (reviews) aren't fake. It's easier to just lick my wounds and whine about it. Waaah.