New secretary

Things have been kind of busy lately. What with me tearing up the yard and preparing for my next trip, I had to get a secretary to help keep things straight around here.



Driving down my street Saturday, I passed a small garage sale with this table & chair out in front. Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeech! I almost put my dogs through the windshield as I backed up to park. How much? $20?! Are you sure you don't want my car or $200B in junk loans or something , too? Excuse me while I whip this out! And as I loaded my prize into the pilot, I realized part of the reason for the bargain-basement pricing. Ants. A colony of ants, to be specific. Luckily, I'm excellent at disassembly, and chemical warfare. After reassembling and sanitizing, the rugrat got her own desk, just like daddy's but cooler.

Such a .....man!

This weekend, I was tasked with roto-tilling part of our front yard and digging a trench for a future sprinkler system. In my way were two old concrete post pilings and several haole koa roots, which grow down nearly proportional to the height of the bush/tree/weed/above ground pest that it is. Faced with the prospect of a long, laborous weekend of picking, shoveling, and digging, I did what any man would do. I walked 5 doors down to my neighbor's house (who just so happens to run a small equipment rental company). 20 minutes later, I was happily digging away with a much bigger shovel.

The concrete was up, the roots were gone, that old stump on the other side of the yard was history, and I was ready to proceed with the light trenching. Enter SuperMom. Needless to say she wasn't pleased (I won't go into details, but it involves my financial decisions to single-handedly rescue the failing economy). I was instructed to dig up anything else that we might possibly think about removing from the yard in the distant future, so long as we had that monstrosity for the day. After a couple hours, when she had cooled from molten to merely scathing, she proclaimed, "This! Is because you're a ......MAN!"

And I just sat there on the excavator, without my gardening gloves.



It now appears as if a gopher of Caddyshack proportions has had a real run in with Bill Murray in my front yard. The lady at the green-waste facility not only recognizes me, but comments when I don't bring munchkin with me in the co-pilot seat. More pictures to come soon.



Today, a family friend was coming over to pick up a computer I had repaired. I knew she was coming. I knew the house was a mess (i.e. little clods of dirt from the front yard were scattered all over the fou-hardwood floor). I knew the twerp was running around in an ugly black tank-top and a diaper. SuperMom wasn't home yet. Of course none of it really registered in my brain - until our friend arrived. As the rugrat ambled towards the door with her sippy cup in her hand (Another no-no. We sit down to eat and drink), the picture unfolded before me. SuperMom would have been mortified. It was then that it dawned on me that I am, in fact, such a ...man!

But we already knew this, didn't we?

It's nice to know kids can still save the world

12 year-old develops 3D solar cells that harvest 9x more sunlight and 10% more energy. This whiz kid's future goals? "Cure cancer or fixing global warming or something."

I got my spaghetti on!

Just different enough to be unique, just generic enough not to be largely offensive. Thanks Chickie for the inspiration! My truck has been touched by His Noodley Appendage!

http://www.venganza.org



Aaargh!

I think it's a nicer way to decorate than, say, Band-Aid brand decals.

No it's not a midevil torture device....

although I have received contract offers from Dick Cheney....

This is what happens when you love to tinker, and your wife gives you a two-man boat for your birthday, but you want to be able to take it out and put it away on your own. 11 pulleys, about 150 feet of rope, and some misc. hardware later;



If I had a roof-rack, I'd be golden. It does lower down and push into the back of the camper just fine, though.

Sealing up that back wall is on the to-do list.

Relax -like forever

Superwife, "I need a vacation, from life."

Turtle, "That comes at the end."

Superwife, "I saw that coming as soon as I said it. Really though, I need a long one."

Turtle, "Don't worry, it's permanent."

Superwife, "Look! A door. I'll just walk into it!"

Turtle, "How's that vacation coming along?"

Silliness

Apparently, I'm like Goliath -but with goggles.

20
I've been blessed with height, a long reach, good balance, and flexible morals when facing down a demon horde of munchkins in a cage fight...

Surprise! It's the fair!

Okay, so I'm obviously not as tuned into community events as I perhaps should be. The monkey and I were driving home from Longs after replenishing our supplies consisting of a new watch, plastic drinking cups, and matching sunglasses when I hear the announcement from the co-pilot seat. "Dada! Dada! Sphide Dada! Sphide! Biiiiig Sphide!"

There, in the community park amongst tents, jumpies, a pewee football game, and food booths is a 20-foot tall inflatable slide. Sweet! It's Saturday, I'm bored with a bored 20 month-old, and the weather is too overcast to take out the boat like I had planned. I'm totally down for some slide action if she is.

Well, we decided not to blow our wad all at once, so we started with the bouncy-house. That went over far better than expected. Lots of jumping, no major falls or collisions, and she loved every second of it.



Next we went on the wannabe teacups. This had me worried. She'd never been on a ride before, and this wasn't some quarter-fed plastic firetruck outside of Wal-Mart. It, too, was met with amazing success. No fear whatsoever. I don't know why I'm surprised. She'll sit in the kitchen and spin until she's too dizzy to stand, and then get up and do it again.



I told you we got matching shades. She insisted on wearing them, too. How I actually got this shot, by myself, on the first try, is among the list of mini-miracles today. My hair.... not so much.

Now, bolstered by the daring and success of our previous adventures, we faced the gigantor-slide, and one of us was too short (Sorry squirt, I'll stand on my toes next time). Bach to round 2 at the bouncy-house!!



Next up was the garden tractor in a train suit. It was satisfactory for her. I probably could have pushed the thing faster (At least, back in my early 20's I might have). My highly calibrated food sensors told me that it was time to find a precessed dead animal to consume, and squirt agreed. To top off the list of mini-miracles, we shared an entire Kalua Pork BBQ sandwich with no napkins, bib, or dropcloths and the shirt came out unscathed (Proof that she only makes messes at home because she enjoys getting cleaned by the dogs).



To top it off, we cruised the vendors. "Fowah dadi, flowah!!" Ahh yes. So, on the way out, she got to choose a flower for hard-working-mommy. Whaddayaknow? Purple!



The very best part was when we got home, I put her into her crib, I climbed into the bed in her room, and we took a 2 hour nap together!!!!!!!!!! Being a dad can be rough sometimes, but days like this make it rock!

Simple pleasures

How do we make someone smile when mommy is away? Oh, I guess it's not so hard.



Just give her a road vest and a turtle balloon as big as her and it's all smiles! I was hoping the vest would caution away onlookers that might get too close as her little head exploded from sheer joy. She loves turtles as much as I do. We're genetically bonded in our dementia.

Randy, your computer's on fire!

Not exactly the most wonderful way to wake up in the morning. Yet several days ago, that is exactly what came bellowing from the kitchen as I was still trying to fully awaken - a process that normally takes me about a half an hour, but that morning only took seconds. I rushed to my computer (which is not in the kitchen, but adjacent to it) and heard several loud pops and smelled the telltale smoke of frying electronics. I've been down this road before with poor quality power supplies, and I simultaneously cringed both on the inside and outwardly.

I quickly yanked the power cord, disconnected the signal cable, powered down my computer, and unplugged it too, just for good measure. I've been running dual monitors for nearly 8 years now, and I don't know how I'd keep my sanity without them. I can have music players, browsers, email, and photos all open at the same time without interfering with each other. I loooove it. The last couple of days have been rough. Today, I had finally had enough of the lonely, blank screen on the right side of my desk. It was toast, out of warranty, and doing nothing helpful. I had three options.

1. I could simply toss it and accept that I would have to shell out a couple hundred dollars for a new monitor that wouldn't match the existing one - naaaa!
2. I could buy two new monitors that matched for closer to $500 - Hell no.
3. I could tinker

Oh yes, let the tinkering begin! Now I do have experience with electricity, electronics, and mechanics in general, so it wasn't just a shot in the dark, but I didn't have high expectations. Usually, when sensitive electronics go south, they do so in style by frying the tiny transistors that you cannot see or possibly hope to repair. I was hoping for a blown capacitor. That, with a little work, I could probably fix. What I found was a traditional Hawaiian electrical short-circuit.

A gecko.

Fried.

On the circuit board.

After removing said charred reptile (he was tiny, at about 1 inch long), and cleaning the traces the best I could, I reassembled the monitor and crossed my fingers. Success! Dual 19 inch LCD web-browsing bliss!

This goes to prove that when you have little to lose, it doesn't hurt to try to repair stuff, and that Geico will be recieving a strongly-worded letter from me about the practices of their spokesanimals.

I wish I had taken pictures. Sorry. I say this is common because in Hawaii, these little bastards get into everything. I love them. They're cute, and they eat insects, but they have the two undesireable traits of getting into everything and pooping all over the place. I find gecko bodies in the bussing of old electrical panels all the time. "Oooh, this is nice and warm. and. tingly..." 240 Volts across the bussing does them in every time.

Afloat part II

Today we took the baby out for her first ever boat ride. She was relaxed but reserved and quiet. I could tell she liked it though. Wife and I paddled out from Lanikai and cruised around the reef (relatively) close to shore. We saw a sea turtle surface, but lost it. The ocean was a little choppy, and visibility was poor again. It would've been a crappy day for snorkeling, but the boating was okay.


Searching for elusive turtles


I'm not angry, I'm just squinting. Munchkin wants to know what other stuff is in the dry bag.