Where, oh where has my sister gone?

This song, from my youth, makes me think of her every time. I was 12 when my parents divorced. It was odd. I had a strange relationship with my father, and since I was an only child, had always been more of an introvert anyhow. The break-up didn't hit me too hard. At least not tragically like in some families. If anything I got a lot more attention from dad than before. It was awkward, but we coped well.

I'm not sure how long afterward it was before he began dating again. It wasn't too long. By the time I was 13 he was dating a great woman named Roberta, who had 2 kids of her own. Robin was 16, and Steve was 19 and had already moved away. The very first time I spent the weekend at their house, I remember Robin coming to give me a hug before we left. Not a mandatory hug out of courtesy - a real hug. When you're 13 and a hot 16 year-old gives you a real hug, it makes an impression. Most girls her age wouldn't be caught dead around a geeky guy like me, but her acceptance was both immediate and unbounded. Even in public and around her friends. All that and she was cool, too. Crafty, smart, and artistic.

When I was 14 I had my first official "girlfriend," which consisted of a whole lot of telephone talking gibberish and some hand-holding. Unfortunately, she lived about 15 miles away. On one of dad's weekends, Robin spent her Saturday night driving me to Donna's house (yes, I still remember her full name and her former address), bringing us both back to Santee for a movie, drove us back to Clairemont to drop her off, and then back home again. At that point in time, she was cemented in my mind as the coolest sister I never had.

The three of them accepted me without reservation or hesitation. I never refer to them as my "step" siblings. It's simply my brother and my sister. Even years after the death of both of our parents to cancer within 2 months of each other, we have remained very close. They both came to my wedding in Hawaii, and we've seen each other through quite a bit. It's because of her that my wife and I have a mild addiction to "Scrubs."

This summer my sister went off the map though. All I got was a cryptic email about needing time to herself and then.............nothing. I have enough vague communication channels to know that she's alive and not on her death bed or anything, but aside from that I'm in the dark, and I don't like it. We all have our ups and downs, and it seems that Robin has gotten a disproportional amount of downs over the years. Every time we talk I have something cool to tell her like getting married, a promotion in a job I love, a new kid, moving to Hawaii, another great job, travel with my older daughter, etc. I have had an exceptionally fortunate life (not counting some "turbulence" from 1997-2000) and can't help but think that it might be depressing for her to talk to me.

Robin, please call, or write, or email, or send a message in a bottle or something. I don't care if you're depressed, in a heavy metal band, joined the CIA, in a cult, have differing political or religions views from me, questioning your sexuality, or just frustrated with the world. I. Don't . Care. I love you and I miss my sister. Do you want me to fly out for a weekend with the kids? Done. I just want to know you're okay. We're all worried about you.